Hating Walt Whitman For Spaulding Gray, Kurt Vonnegurt
“ the only modern poet not to experience discord when he encountered the world.”
( overheard at a literary cocktail party )
Article in the paper says, ‘Little league manager hangs self’
He had written to his wife that,
‘It wasn’t over my jealousy of Gehrig or Stengel, or Ruth.
It was that son of a bitch, Walt Whitman.
It doesn’t have to be explained, and if it has to be it can’t be.’
on page 3
‘Man found dead in empty lot.’
A note in his jacket pocket read,
“Dearest Jim, I will never take my love away from you.
P.S. I want you to come in my mouth” Love Debbie.
Next of kin said he had been despondent since a woman had
left him for a celebrated scholar of Walt Whitman.
on page 8,
‘Woman jumps to death from fairgrounds Ferris wheel.’
Friends said she was an un-recovered alcoholic and had been
depressed after reading a biography of Walt Whitman.
The couple in the chair behind her said “she just kept rocking back
and forth repeating “Lincoln
and muttering something about ‘Dooryard’ and ‘Bloomed? and ‘a blooming idiot’
and then she just jumped.’
In the obituaries it was noted that “Reginald Waters, famous local author of
romance novels died Monday of what was an apparent heart attack.’
He was found slumped over the unfinished transcript of
his latest novel in progress, ‘Rape, A Romance.’
He had evidently been working on the dedication page
which read, ‘to that god damn spiritual adept, Walt Whitman,
may he rest in anything but peace.’ His publisher declined comment.
An article in the celebrity section reported ‘Valuable manuscript found.’
“A diary of the late Dorothy Parker discovered by relatives.
opened in character with, ‘its easy to know fairly young
that you wouldn’t want to be stuck in an elevator with
T. S. Eliot but it takes a lifetime to hate Walt Whitman.’
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